Vocational School of Justice
DOING TOO MUCH FOR YOUR CHILDREN
As the second semester for almost 18 million students begins on Monday, February 5, the experts strongly warn parents about being over-involved in many areas of their children’s lives, and putting themselves in the center of their children’s education. Ezgi Oral, Lecturer at Child Development Program, Vocational School of Health Services, Izmir University of Economics (IUE), stated that parents are too involved with everything about their children: their homework, exams, courses, even their social lives. Oral said, “Recent studies reveal that parental involvement in school has little effect on child’s success. Giving a child a chance to take his/her own responsibility, contributes greatly to both academic and social success of the child”.
Oral stated that it was very important for children to take responsibility for chores or their behavior in terms of their development. She said that parents needed to step back and take on the role of “coach” and “teacher” instead of “do-er” and “fixer. “We need to remember that children will experience failure and setbacks. Help your child build their social and problem-solving skills and learn responsibility. Turning in a perfect assignment with your help will not get your child anywhere; on the contrary, it will interrupt their learning process. When you over-do for your child, your child learns the wrong lesson. Facing challenges are great opportunities for children to grow and mature. Take on the role of teacher and coach, supporting your child through the difficulty, while letting them discover their own capabilities. This will help them become successful, self-sufficient and responsible adults”, said Oral.
‘Be a good mentor’
Oral pointed out that additional support in areas where children have interest and are talented at, would increase their motivation and success. Oral stated the following:
“While giving all this support, make sure to get their opinion on the matter and let them take risks and responsibilities. You just sit back and be a good mentor, let them fight for their responsibilities. You will then be able to observe the positive changes and improvements in your children.”